


vent.

by beesareyelloww



Category: No Fandom
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-11
Updated: 2021-01-15
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:26:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 897
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28014654
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beesareyelloww/pseuds/beesareyelloww
Summary: honestly i just need to vent, so i mean i might as well do it here.
Kudos: 2





	1. who am i?

**Author's Note:**

> baggage up ahead

okay, straight up, what the hell? You're telling me not only can your parents behaviors shape who you are, your friends and classmates do too? I mean, it makes sense now, but what kind of evil shit is that? I can't choose what i want to wear, i can't choose what i want to do with my time, i'm so goddamn indecisive i can't even decide what to eat. What is my sexuality? Am I biromantic asexual? Biromantic heterosexual? Abrosexual? or am i just completely straight with such bad trust issues that i don't like anyone anymore? What kind of clothes do i want? What do i want my bedroom to look like?

I could be softcore, cottagecore, clowncore, glitchcore, e-girl.. i like all of them but which one is me? am i all of them? can you be all of them? fuck, have i already been numb for three years already? time sure flies when you're depressed as hell. i know im letting my family down, there's no way i'm not. I mean, i can't even bother to leave my room to spend time with them. Of course, it's not like they try to find activities that would make me happy, but i guess that's hard when your kid doesn't get a thrill out of anything anymore. I got all Fs last trimester, I'm so scared for when they look at my report card. I know my dad is going to freak the fuck out, but will he hit me? oh god, will he?? oh fuck haha i'm crying. anyways, let's hope that doesn't happen. He's definitely going to take my phone. I suppose he can't really take my laptop, so that should be fine. God i'm so scared of him.

you know, i looked up what was considered neglect the other day. no wonder i like to be alone, it's how i grew up after all. could've at least left me with a responsible babysitter. guess it was too much work. i get where the inferiority complex came from, cough, my brother, cough, but where did the god complex come from? like, i'm way hotter than most of the people i know, but i'm also the ugliest fucking person of the planet? maybe that's just insecurity, i dunno. oh wow i'm way off topic. oh well.


	2. not good enough, but the best

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> after failing at writing two more times, i couldn't handle it.

fuck i just wish i was good at one thing. i can't do school, I can't write, I can't draw, I can't make my parents happy, I can't give my friends and exes what they expect from me, what can i give everyone? I'm the therapist friend, the only one in the group who gives actual advice, not just, "oof" or "same" or some dumb shit like that. Who am i supposed to talk to? my therapist sucks at his job, i mean come on, im ranting on a fucking fanfiction website.

i have no skills, i'm sad all the time, i'm boring, why do i even have friends? god, maybe it is just because their little group therapist.  
you know, the suicide hotline is bad at their job. You think i'm gonna patiently wait on hold for fifteen fucking minutes and feel wanted? No, i'm gonna feel like a massive bother. i was always in second place, whether it be from my family, my friend groups, or even in my relationships. I mean naturally every parent has a favorite kid, but you'd think they'd make it less obvious. i'm only an option for a time waster. The person between the grade-A models. always left for someone better. not that there are people who are much better, they just present nicer. If you can't handle a bitch don't hang out with one in the first place. Humanity needs a fucking reset. I'm talking mass extinction, then maybe the earth would be better off. I know it would be.

it's a couple hours later. i forgot i was writing this, went to text some friends, but then a breakdown started. I called my mom to ask her if she loves me, she avoided the question. i'm defeated. i repeated myself and she avoided it again. i knew i wasn't her favorite but damn. i'm uh, gonna head out for today.


	3. not pretty enough

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I fucking hate my family

I wondered why I was so obsessed with looks, then tonight my dad decided to just comment on my appearance after I took a shower.

do I take showers often? no. maybe like,, once a week.  
I get it, comment on that, what the fuck ever, but you cant just come into my room and get pissy because I didn't brush my hair. hey, wow, it's almost as if.. it's easier when it's fully dry.

I've been worried about what i eat for two fucking years all because my mom decided to comment on my weight constantly. oh, you think I'm large? okay, I'll stop eating for the next week.

you wanna loudly make fun of me with your s/o while I'm in my room? haha alright, I'll blast music and pretend I dont exist and ghost my friends for the next three days.

oh, I'm not trying hard enough? okay, ill focus more on school than on myself. oh, I forgot to do one thing today? crazy, guess I'll listen to you yell at me for half an hour.

fuck you guys, I didn't ask to be born.


End file.
